"Ka-plunk," my light-hearted fd10 sang as she tossed her empty smoothie container into the recycling bin. In the background, her very smart, very funny, very know-it-all brother corrected her, "It's KER-plunk, but you mean bam anyway, because it's not kerplunk if there's no water."
Later in the morning, when both kids were ready for school and waiting for their ride, I asked fd10, "So is it kaplunk, kerplunk or bam?" She looked hard at me, searching her brain for the "right" answer. I whispered, "Whatever you want it to be." She lit up and declared with confidence, "Yeah. Whatever I want it to be, because I'm using my 'magination." For a girl who spent so many of her years needing her brother, only one year older, to be parent - someone who spoke for and protected her - this was a sign of her growth. She is finding her voice, she is seeing her gifts, she is using her power.
Now, how do you help a little boy who got fired from his parent role find his new identity? We're still working on that one, but it felt like growth when fs11 grumbled, "Why does she get to say whatever she wants when it's just not scientific?" He is asking questions. He is checking his perception. He is comparing himself to her instead of elevating himself over her as controller. It may be hard to see their progress in this little spat, but it was all so delightful and amazing to me.
